“Hi, I’m Daniel Kretschmer, and this is my story…”
My opening line pays homage to the opening line of the iconic Australian film, The Castle. These immortal words (substituting names of course) were spoken by a young character who shares my initials, Dale Kerrigan. Throughout the movie Dale narrates the hilarious tale which embodies stereotypes of cultural and family life in working class Australia.
As with all iconic movies, it has left its imprint upon the language of the times. Awesome lines such as “it’s not a house, it’s a home”, “ahh, the serenity”, “couldn’t be worth more than 250”, “it’s the constitution, it’s the vibe”, and the catchy ditty “we’re all goin’ to Bonniedoon” bring an instant smile to the face of anyone who appreciates The Castle’s comedic brilliance.
I Dug a Hole
Beyond all that, the line in the movie that has resonated most with me over the years was delivered by Dale himself. Dale is a simple teenager finding his own identity and way in life amidst the family he so admires. One afternoon he is standing in the family living room when his hero, proud father Darryl, prompts him to tell the family of a momentous recent achievement. Initially Dale is overcome with bashful humility and is reluctant to boast. However, Darryl continues to press the issue saying “Go on Dale, tell ’em”! With the family (and audience) now waiting expectently for news of this life-changing achievement, Dale shyly but proudly states “I dug a hole”.
For this freckly-faced, awkward teenager, digging a hole was the depths of his technical knowhow and ability! To make matters worse, said hole was the subject of a later emergency when Dale yells out to Darryl for urgent assistance saying “Dad, the hole’s filling up with water”. Clearly not the most gifted handyman!
Unfortunately, i have a similar level of technical prowess as poor Dale. To put it mildly, i am next to useless. Through a combined lack of natural ability, effort and desire to learn, i have always struggled in this area. I tend to rate drilling a hole or painting a wall as a major achievement. To be fair, i once managed to hang a door (with some help)…though it was upside down. As a handyman, i am a liability.
This fact became glaringly evident for me again during my own family tale this week. My brothers were in town to continue construction at their warehouse in readiness for an exciting business venture kicking off later in the year. Along with my Dad and Uncle, i was enlisted to help my brothers with some labouring and basic ‘handyman type’ activities. As a normally assured 31 year old, i was somehow reduced once more to an inept, insecure teenager like Dale Kerrigan.
A Minnow Among Giants
My insecurities in this area are exacerbated by the fact that my ‘handyman apple’ has fallen a long way from the tree. You see, my Dad is a former farmer, shearer and all-round expert when it comes to all things practical. When i see something broken i buy a new one whereas Dad can figure out 4 different ways to fix it. My younger older brother (if that makes sense) is a successful and innovative business owner who is also adept with a power tool in his hand…an allrounder with skills in every area. Another valuable member of the team was my Uncle who also has a long history of practical brilliance. He is the type of guy who would have never referred to an instruction manual in his life. Alternatively, i almost need an instruction manual on how to use a hammer. Topping it off was the team captain, or should i say foreman (i am trying to contextualise into a foreign world!), my eldest brother. This guy makes McGyver look like Dale Kerrigan. I am sure he could design any project, build any construction, use any tool and solve any problem. I am still working on my Year 10 metalwork project (the only subject i received less than a B for at school!).
And so over the past couple days, i was the minnow working amongst the giants. To be fair, the rest of the team tolerated my performance with encouragement, gratitude and patience. However, there were innumerable times where my ineptitude deepened my sense of inadequacy. I tried to stay positive, tried to tell myself i would improve, tried to learn but to minimal effect. It was like living in a foreign country, not knowing the established culture and unable to speak the language.
This is tough territory for me, and probably why i tend to avoid it (rather than the more honourable option of overcoming it). You see, in every other area of life i feel reasonably assured. For what it’s worth, Universities have given me a few bits of paper. When it comes to academics, writing, public speaking, or general knowledge across a range of topics people tend to look my way. At work, i am in a great position where i get to help people in need and teach interns on a daily basis. This week the tables were turned and instead of being the instructor, i found myself as the inexperienced, timid intern at the bottom of the heap.
Lessons from the Bottom
I learnt some tough lessons this week. Lessons i could have only learnt from a marginalised position. Indeed, for those of us who are not often in the marginalised position, this may be the greatest lesson of all. Those on the outer, those with disadvantage, those without knowledge or power see the world in a different way. We need to hear the voices that are often unheard.
I also learnt a lot about teamwork and leadership. Yes, we need people to lead at the right time. However, as tasks and challenges change, different members of the group rise up with the right direction needed at the right time. No matter their standing within a group, all need to be empowered to have influence. Despite my low handyman IQ, even i made a couple of good suggestions over the week!
In addition to a team leadership approach, the need for a complete team involvement was also apparent. Even with my limitations, there were a few tasks which would not have been done as well without my presence. The same applies in any community. All people are valuable, and all can offer something meaningful to the greater good. It may not always feel that way from the bottom but objectively i realised this was true. I was thankful to my other team members for appreciating my important, albiet tiny, contribution.
As someone who is usually competent in most things i have done in life, this week was also a wonderful lesson in humility. To paraphrase a famous saying, i prayed that God grant me the serenity to accept the things i suck at! Most of us simply cannot be good at everything. That may sound pessimistic but i believe it to be realistic. Embracing this fact can liberate us from all sorts of false expectations. Where we are weak, others are strong. The beauty of cooperative community is that together we are made complete. Alternatively, if we seek to compete we will remain incomplete.
However, i also realise this needs to be held in tension with the admirable quality of persistance and the commitment to improve, even in areas of inherent weakness. It does not matter how far back you start, the important thing is where you aim to finish. Failure is only permanent when you cease to strive for improvement. When you stop growing you begin dying. Conversely, where there is life, there is hope.
And so it was that after i had recovered from the self-doubts (and sliced finger) which resurfaced over the past 2 days, i resolved to once again attempt to improve my knowledge and skills in this area of massive deficiency. However, i will do this with the peace of accepting that my inherent ability in this area is somewhat limited and i will need others to assist me on my journey of masculine redemption! I will also cut myself some slack, as all people are different and if the field of endeavour were changed it would be my turn to shine and assist others.
I best go and check the water and oil in the car…
This is a fantastic lesson for all of us. We all have differant gifts we can contribute to the effective running of society. Thanks for sharing Daniel and for the grounding.